Do You Have Grace to Gray?

May 19, 2011 § 3 Comments

Having entitled my blog Grace to Gray,

"Speaking words of wisdom ... let it be."

I was particularly interested in a segment on this morning’s Today show. Psychologist Vivian Diller and advertising guru Donny Deutsch debated whether there is a double standard for men and women when it comes to gray hair. A focus group was asked to think of men who looked good with gray hair and they found it easy to come up  with examples. It was a bit harder for the group to think of women who looked good with gray hair.

Men with gray hair were seen as distinguished, and authoritative. Women not so much. One comment was that women didn’t care how they looked if they allowed themselves to go gray.

Yet Diller talked about an “eagerness for authenticity … aging with grace and beauty.”


Attitudes about graying may be changing with older models with beautifully silver hair featured in fashion photo shoots.

I’m doing my bit to change attitudes, one gray hair at a time.

How about you? How far will you take authenticity? How are you going about “aging with grace and beauty”?

Copyright 2011


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§ 3 Responses to Do You Have Grace to Gray?

  • Don Ross says:

    I agree and I will do my part, but it seems my hair falls out before it grays. Maybe your husband Dave and I can start an “Authentically Bald” movement.

  • Donna Frederick says:

    I’m not sure authenticity is what we’re going for. The definition of authenticity is “being actually and exactly what the thing in question is said to be.” Authentically what? Old? I think what we’re dealing with here is society’s norm of image over substance. In our society, men are valued for strength and intelligence; women for beauty and grace. As much as we’d like to think that has changed…guess again. In reality, one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever known never did go gray as she aged. Not because of anything she took out of a bottle, it was simply genetics. She wore her hair in a hair net. Always wore pants and plain walking shoes. And you seldom saw her without a frumpy coat covering it all. But she embodied for me, more than anyone else I’ve known before or since, God’s love and compassion.

    So if you just want to be more comfortable with society’s norms, go ahead and color it up. Or strive for allowing the silver threads among the gold be your badge of honor. At the end of days, I doubt hair color is going to amount to much when it comes to toting up the sum of our lives.

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